Archive for March, 2011

I’m not one to jump on any bandwagon’s – in fact I make it my mission in life to jump on as little as possible. But its pretty hard not to get into royal wedding fever, especially here in lovely sunny [haha I can’t even keep a straight face saying that one] England. I’m not saying I’ve already got my Kate-and-william-embossed porcelain thimble, but I’m more than a bit enthralled with it all (mostly because it means we all get an extra day off!). I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’ll be watching what Lifetime has churned out where the royal couple are concerned – although I may give it a go just for the comedy value!

William and Kate the movie

They got an American to play Kate!? And they filmed it IN America. Oh yes this is definitely going to be authentic! Hilarious points made by the voice over woman too I might add. I would PAY to see this film if that’s really Harry!

There are so many contenders for this its unreal. I love the drama genre and I have so many favourites to choose from. To name a few – Changeling, A Time to Kill, House of Sand and Fog… I could do this all day. But if by favourite we mean that I could watch it all day every day and not get bored then there really is only one choice:

Girl, Interrupted Trailer

Don’t let the trailer fool you, the film is a lot darker than it paints itself to be. Its an insight into the insane that ultimately forces you to see them as real people like all of us, and that despite being locked away from the world we all must face a that same dark side a little bit every day within ourselves. Angelina Jolie is mind blowing in this film, and deserved the Oscar (not as much as she did for Changeling however and she was passed over). However now that Brittany Murphy has died its not as easy a watch as it used to be, and her characters fate in the film is especially overwhelming.

That being said, its a great film that is as warm and funny as it is dark. A definite recommend.

This is possibly going to be the most controversial of all my choices because some would argue it isn’t truly a comedy. But its hilarious on so many levels and Whoopi Goldberg deserved her Oscar in every way. I should point out I’m not the biggest fan of comedies. They tend to be in my experience poorly made and often a lot lacking. A great comedy is about as rare as a great horror movie, like a black man at a KKK party my friends. Anyway, its a great movie and one that I have been watching virtually my whole life – and I can guarantee you my kids will too. And I can’t think of a better tribute to the wonderful Patrick Swayze. Long may his movies live on.

Best line in the movie!

The shear genius of ghost is I don’t really think there are many movies with a similar concept. Not necessarily the concept of someone being a ghost and staying put on earth, but more the character they chose when they chose Oda Mae. They could have gone for an old white gypsy (or traveller to be P.C.) stereotypical fortune teller/psychic lady. Or they could have gone for anyone of an older age who you’d probably expect in such a role. But they chose a thirty something, African american, money driven female who was faking and was as surprised as everyone else to find she’s psychic! It was a statement about the class and race in the early nineties and Whoopi’s portrayal of Oda Mae is so nailed on that she is without a doubt one of my favourite characters in a movie ever. Patrick is so likable and relatable in this movie, and his on screen chemistry with Whoopi sizzles so much it outshines anything coming from Demi Moore as Swayze’s mourning girl friend.

Overall, its just a great movie, and one that always cheers me up.

Edit: Just found the full movie on youtube as well if your interested. In one part too so you have absolutely no excuse not to watch it! 

Film is one of those things were for every one good movie there are a hundred terrible ones, and for every great movie – there’s a thousand stinkers. So picking my least favourite movie is probably harder than picking my favourite. Also because bad films are, for the most part, forgettable. But there is only one film I’ve ever been to the cinema to see, and I’ve fallen asleep in it. I was of a wee young age of seven at the time but even then I was a tough critic. My worst movie ever:

My Favourite Martian: I’d rather have dinner with Josef Fritzl than watch this train wreck again.

This film is bad on so many unspeakable levels. And the stupid humour so poor that it couldn’t even appease my seven year old self. Fail.

NB. This movie is also a remake of a TV series. I HATE REMAKES!!!! They are the biggest insult to creativity and there are only about 5 in existence that were any good. So that fact just increases my dislike!

Tonight it’s the draw of the £90 million rollover Euromillions draw. If I won I would fund the actual shot for shot remake of this for my viewing amusement. Nick Frost and Simon Pegg are Sci-Fi Comedy God’s. That is all.

I thought since I was doing the 30 day movie challenge on facebook, I’d share some of my thoughts on here. I am in no way I movie expert, I have had not film studies training. However, you’d be hard pushed to find someone who has seen as many films as I have, and I like to think of myself more along the lines of Mr Joe Bloggs ideal movie reviewer (Or Ms. Josephine Bloggs Winking smile). So while you are likely to disagree with my opinion, and certain to liken my taste of film to picking Lambrini over Chardonnay – I hope you can appreciate my witty take on things, and will see were I’m coming from, if only by a fraction. Also, I’m an impatient soul so if you find my speeding up in terms of days – don’t worry, no your calendar is not deceiving you!

Day 1: Favourite film

Not an easy choice. But if there is to be a film that I love for its shear genius, and how it makes me feel as a viewer, there is really only one contender.

Rear Window; Alfred Hitchcock, James Stewart and Grace Kelly.


Hitchcock was a pioneer in so many ways, but Rear Window truly cemented his title as the master of suspense more than any other of his previous outings. Sure, ‘Psycho’ was like nothing no one had ever seen, and ‘The Birds’ captured viewers in new and different ways but it was ‘Rear Window’ that hooked you in, and kept hold of you from start to finish. There is no film where Grace Kelly is more elegant – which is one mean feat. And the genius involved to have the presence of mind to shoot a film in the same room from start to finish, might seem mundane now – but Hitchcock was always one for firsts. There is something about looking out Jeffries window when Lisa is trapped in Thorwald’s apartment that is so entrancing that you feel not only as helpless as our protagonist, but trapped too.

There truly will never be a better thriller than it, and even if there is candidate for that, you can guarantee those who made it will have taken from Hitchcock’s work in some way. That is why it’s my number 1 movie. 

  • Hangover 2

The gang is back and it looks like getting in more unbelieveable yet hilarious scenarios once again. Lets face it, they could bring out a trailer that was simply a sign saying Hangover 2 swaying back and forth in the wind for two minutes and this movie will be a box office hit. Lets hope it lives up to the hype.

  • Hanna

Not that I’m biased or anything… All the TV spots and trailers truly make this film look awesome, and I’m sure the pintsized assassin flick will do well – if only because everyone who shares the name will go and see it.

  • Bad Teacher

Cameron Diaz just said, “I want him to sit on my face.” ROFL…! Not to be gay, but I CANNOT WAIT for this. Cameron Diaz sure knows how to make a comedy, and she’s at her baddest and dirtiest in this movie about a bad teacher trying to fund a boob job. Need I say more? It has Jason Segal in it. SOLD!

  • Beastly

Alex Pettyfer. Probably some partial nudity. A throwback to my childhood love of Beauty and the Beast. Yeah, this one is pretty much self explanatory!

  • Captain America

In case you didn’t know – I am a massive geek. Not a cool geek who wears glasses with clear glass in them and smokes L & B while quoting Keats. No, I’m a star wars loving, lab rat who can’t get enough of anything that has aliens or superhero’s in it. So it is no surprise that I’m looking forward to this like a baby wants breast milk. Give me super powers babyyyy!

I have just discovered (curtsey of that there is an actual site that sells hand made wizard/witch wands that are just like ones seen in Harry Potter. Now, I am in no way criticising anyone who wants to purchase one of these wands (okay maybe a little…) but be realistic here. No seriously. Please be realistic. Harry Potter is not real. Magic (at least in this sense – I ain’t messing with the Occult!) is not real. Wands are just a piece of carved wood. Why would you spend 50 quid on one!? There is even a section on the site called ‘School Supplies’ where you can purchase books, quills and other essentials, “…For the new term.” Really…?

I love HP as much as the next nineties kid, but there is such a thing as taking it too far. No wonder Emma Watson said getting a college room mate who was a Harry Potter fan would be her ‘worst nightmare.’

Anyway take a look if you don’t believe me!

Squat like its 1989!

Posted: March 17, 2011 in Bizarre
Tags: , ,

Stand next to a wall and do a squat, while someone watches (preferably not a stranger!). The amusing yet vile face you pull will be worth it! The more people the better!

So what I’m a child… God said be childlike!

Five words about the movie, “Jolene” (2008):

What the fuck was that?!

I guess I should elaborate…

I wanted to like this movie. I had seen Jessica Chastain in L&O: Trial by Jury, a show that was cancelled before it ever really found its feet. However they didn’t make it easy for me. “Jolene” has no real plot to speak of, it is just a series of events – or rather men (and in one case a perversely older woman) told one after the other. This I could live with if there was an end to speak of. But there wasn’t, and in films – and this goes for all films, you need some resemblance of an end. Instead we had a day dream, a slow walk down the road and then a panning camera. That is not an ending. You need to resolve some of the films issues, not all but at least some. In terms of performances, I found Jessica Chastain’s portrayal of Jolene to be less than endearing. Her naivety annoyed me and I felt her hard to relate to. Even when she was being abused by her third husband I didn’t feel any involvement in her journey. The film felt forced, as though we had meandered through this girls life, and we knew how we were supposed to feel about her – but it didn’t just connect. The rest of the cast put in average performances though nothing really worth mentioning.


Overall, the plot was the main downfall of this movie. However, the direction and performances left a lot lacking. A very poor 4/10 (And that’s me being generous).