I will let you in on my worst kept secret. I have a rather irrational fear of worms. Well, at least people tell me it is irrational.
“They can’t hurt you Hannah, they’re only worms. I don’t get why they frighten you so much?!” – Annoying person who loves me, yet fails to understand me.

Yeah – well, you know what? It isn’t irrational.

Yeah, that’s right. Take a good long look at that worm. It looks like the real life version of a Sarlacc… except its real, and it doesn’t rely on ugly, fat slug men for its main source of fibre. 

Still think I’m crazy? Well, you’re entitled. And kind of right.

But, it was this fear that stopped me watching the Horror flick – and I use that term loosely – Slither. If you’ve seen it, you will probably debate with me as to whether the little critters are actually worms, or more like slugs. Point is, it didn’t matter. The were long and icky and they inserted themselves into your mouths. I didn’t need to know much more.

Alas, I eventually changed my mind. Why? Well, I like Nathan Fillion. And I like Elizabeth Banks. Both of whom are in the movie. So six years later, I battened down the hatches, grabbed my Anakin Skywalker replica lightsaber (Hey, it worked against the Sarlacc…) and set about watching the film.

The best thing about Slither? It knows entirely what kind of movie it is. So many films fail because they try to pigeon hole themselves into one genre or another, or try to be something that from the plot, premise or cast, it definitely can’t be. But Slither knows the kind of people who are going to go see it, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously. To the point, in fact, that it is almost a parody of itself. Slither picks up all those gross and absurd parts of movie’s like Alien, The Blob and Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and shows how hilarious the whole thing really is. And, quite simply, that is why it works.

Slither starts with some sort of alien ‘pod’ firing a harpoon kind of thing at the all American, hill billy-type character called Grant (played by Michael Rooker). Grant has a trophy wife named Starla (Elizabeth Banks) who is a school teacher with unresolved feelings for local Sheriff, Bill (Nathan Fillion). When Grant comes home after his alien encounter, he is acting strange, but by all accounts looks the same. It is only after a few days that his behaviour starts getting stranger, and his face and body start morphing. Eventually he turns into what I can only describe as ‘something I made with play-do one time in nursery’ and sets about infecting the town. How does he do this? Well that right there is the really icky part. Even more than the worms. Seriously! These two worm penis things come out of his chest and pump alien spunk into his unwilling victims chests – impregnating them with his worm juice. It’s all very disturbing! And had parallels with Alien. I mean, if you know anything about Sci-Fi, you know that the face huggers in Alien were always supposed to be a metaphor for male rape. Well guess the guys over at Slither thought, “Fuck that, we can be well more hard core!” And they were.

Once impregnated, you become so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so hungry you end up like this:

slitherYeah, I wasn’t kidding about the hungry part.
And as if that wasn’t enough, you then explode and thousands of little worms/slugs come out, and then face rape you by jumping into your mouth and infecting your brain until your basically one big alien Grant. What a lovely way to go. Honestly, I can’t decide which way is worse. Becoming this guy:
Having this come at you:
…And then exploding, or swallowing one of these bad boys:

Wow.

If this thing was real, it would make Alien look like a pest control problem.

But it isn’t the movie monsters that makes this a good film. It is the cast and the script. With lines like:
“If I weren’t about to shit in my pants right now, I’d be fuckin’ fascinated.”
And:
“He looks likes something that fell off my dick during the war.”
You can’t go wrong.

Nathan Fillion is at his loveable best as Bill, and gets a lot of laughs with his sarcastic Sheriff routine. Elizabeth Banks proves she should get to do more lead roles – and now, thankfully, she does – as Starla, and Tania Saulnier plays the traumatised, young teen who survives and sets about helping the pair save the world.

Overall, if you want a real Friday night, popcorn movie with a few laughs and moments of  “Ewww…” then Slither is totally up your street. As long as you don’t take it too seriously, it won’t either and you are bound to enjoy this campy, cult horror flick as it was meant to be enjoyed.

A solid 7/10.

Which is MASSIVE given the kind of film it is! I must be feeling generous.

 

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Comments
  1. Great review. I totally agree with you. This movie had a great script that was pulled off wonderfully by some great actors. They were able to be serious without being so serious to kill the humor.

    I think this movie plays an important role in the horror genre beyond just another zombie/alien flick. I call it the King of the B-Reels.

    I go into more depth in my own review. If you have time you should check it out and tell me if my ideas hold up.

    http://horrormoviemedication.blogspot.com/2013/02/slither-a-quality-b-film.html

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