Teeth is one of those movies that comes around from time to time, and you see the trailer – and there is only really one appropriate response – What the fuck?! 

But the concept is just so God damn strange, and so bizarre that you just have to watch it. Teeth is about a young and pure woman, who discovers she has an unusual adaptation that sets her apart… Her vagina has teeth. I know. It’s ridiculous. And disgusting. “They based a whole movie around that?!” I hear ya… it’s bizarre. Yet somehow intriguing. And if you get passed the gross factor, Teeth is a lot more than it seems. Not only is it darkly funny, but it is probably the most memorable black comedy of the last five years.

Jess Weixler plays Dawn, the dentally endowed teen who has chosen to take a vow of purity and chastity. Dawn is passionate about her promise, and speaks out to persuade others to take the vow. However, when she meets the boy of her dreams she begins to question herself. It is soon after then that she learns of her ‘gift’ and how handy it can actually be.

The whole premise of the film is absurd, but the comedy is so understated it works. Mitchell Lichtenstein, the director, knows entirely the kind of film he is making, resulting in a black comedy that doesn’t take itself too seriously and keeps the audience drawn into the plot. There are good performances all round, particularly from Weixler and John Hensley – who plays Dawn’s idiot and infatuated step brother.

By the end of the film, Dawn has transcended from innocent and terrified teen to a complicit and conniving scorned woman. But it is the dark laughs that make this a film worth watching, and it is that which sets it apart from anything remotely similar.

Overall, a pretty fascinating movie that is difficult to take your eyes off, no matter how much you may want to. I guarantee that, by the last act, if you’re male – you will be holding your special place; and if you’re female – you’ll be googling vagina dentata just to see if this shit is possible… Scarily, it is by the way. 

A 6/10. Check out the trailer below.

  1. megjopol says:

    spose with this “ability” i’d go to dodgy areas in the hope that some pervert was walking past so i could chop his nether regions off,,, lol 😛

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