Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

I will let you in on my worst kept secret. I have a rather irrational fear of worms. Well, at least people tell me it is irrational.
“They can’t hurt you Hannah, they’re only worms. I don’t get why they frighten you so much?!” – Annoying person who loves me, yet fails to understand me.

Yeah – well, you know what? It isn’t irrational.

Yeah, that’s right. Take a good long look at that worm. It looks like the real life version of a Sarlacc… except its real, and it doesn’t rely on ugly, fat slug men for its main source of fibre.¬†

Still think I’m crazy? Well, you’re entitled. And kind of right.

But, it was this fear that stopped me watching the Horror flick – and I use that term loosely – Slither. If you’ve seen it, you will probably debate with me as to whether the little critters are actually worms, or more like slugs. Point is, it didn’t matter. The were long and icky and they inserted themselves into your mouths. I didn’t need to know much more.

Alas, I eventually changed my mind. Why? Well, I like Nathan Fillion. And I like Elizabeth Banks. Both of whom are in the movie. So six years later, I¬†battened down the hatches, grabbed my Anakin Skywalker replica lightsaber (Hey, it worked against the Sarlacc…)¬†and set about watching the film.

The best thing about Slither? It knows entirely what kind of movie it is. So many films fail because they try to pigeon hole themselves into one genre or another, or try to be something that from the plot, premise or cast, it definitely can’t be. But Slither knows the kind of people who are going to go see it, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously. To the point, in fact, that it is almost a parody of itself. Slither picks up all those gross and absurd parts of movie’s like Alien, The Blob and Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and shows how hilarious the whole thing really is. And, quite simply, that is why it works.

Slither starts with some sort of alien ‘pod’ firing a harpoon kind of thing at the all American,¬†hill billy-type character called Grant (played by Michael Rooker). Grant has a trophy wife named Starla (Elizabeth Banks) who is a school teacher with unresolved feelings for local Sheriff, Bill (Nathan Fillion). When Grant comes home after his alien encounter, he is acting strange, but by all accounts looks the same. It is only after a few days that his behaviour starts getting stranger, and his face and body start morphing. Eventually he turns into what I can only describe as ‘something I made with play-do one time in nursery’ and sets about infecting the town. How does he do this? Well that right there is the really icky part. Even more than the worms. Seriously! These two worm penis things come out of his chest and pump alien spunk into his unwilling victims chests – impregnating them with his worm juice. It’s all very disturbing! And had parallels with Alien. I mean, if you know anything about Sci-Fi, you know that the face huggers in Alien were always supposed to be a metaphor for male rape. Well guess the guys over at Slither thought, “Fuck that, we can be well more hard core!” And they were.

Once impregnated, you become so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so hungry you end up like this:

slitherYeah, I wasn’t kidding about the hungry part.
And as if that wasn’t enough, you then explode and thousands of little worms/slugs come out, and then face rape¬†you by jumping into your mouth and infecting your brain until your basically one big alien Grant. What a lovely way to go. Honestly, I can’t decide which way is worse. Becoming this guy:
Having this come at you:
…And then exploding, or swallowing one of these bad boys:

Wow.

If this thing was real, it would make Alien look like a pest control problem.

But it isn’t the movie monsters that makes this a good film. It is the cast and the script. With lines like:
“If I weren’t about to shit in my pants right now, I’d be fuckin’ fascinated.”
And:
“He looks likes something that fell off my dick during the war.”
You can’t go wrong.

Nathan Fillion is at his loveable best as Bill, and gets a lot of laughs with his sarcastic Sheriff routine. Elizabeth Banks proves she should get to do more lead roles – and now, thankfully, she does – as Starla, and Tania Saulnier plays the traumatised, young teen who survives and sets about helping the pair save the world.

Overall, if you want a real Friday night, popcorn movie with a few laughs and moments of ¬†“Ewww…” then Slither is totally up your street. As long as you don’t take it too seriously, it won’t either and you are bound to enjoy this campy, cult horror flick as it was meant to be enjoyed.

A solid 7/10.

Which is MASSIVE given the kind of film it is! I must be feeling generous.

 

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Howdy followers… after the success of my new review series, “You better abide by my TV guide”, I realised I probably spend as much time on youtube as I do watching actual TV. Therefore, I’ve come up with this new nifty little series – “Youtube me and I’ll Youtube you…”. It makes no sense but I like it so deal.

Youtube me and I’ll Youtube you…¬†will basically be posts about all the channels I’m subscribed to that I feel are worthy of your time, and ones that keep me going back each week. So enjoy!

First up, the fabulously talented РJenna Marbles. Kudos to my lovely friend Roisin for pointing her out to me.

Jenna Marbles posts a video every wednesday that basically takes the piss out of social protocols. And if she’s not doing that, she’s goofing off and playing with her dogs. Doesn’t sound like much? Yeah… she’s kind of a phenomenon you have to try to understand. Check out the video of one of her escapades, and if you like what you see then sub her and check out her other vids. Enjoy!

Next up…

vsauce – vsauce is basically a nerds wet dream. The guy(s) who run the channel upload new vids every few days about all the weird and wonderful things going on in the world and on the internet. Its like the news but if the news was fun and you were stoned. Enjoy!

And finally…

KSIOlajidebt¬†– Or KSI as its just easier that way – is a north london lad who uploads videos of him playing all sorts of random computer games while recording himself and anyone else who is with him. Again, this is kind of one you have to see to believe, and so if you don’t laugh at the video below – well then call the doctor, you need a new funny bone. Enjoy!


And so…

That’s all for now. If you have any suggestions on the your favourite youtube channels, let me know in the comment section below and I will check them out and try to¬†impart your wisdom, using it for good – not the dark side of the force, don’t worry…¬†

I know… I know… Its been ages again. Sue me – I have a life.

Anyway, back to the challenge. Animations a tough one for me. It takes a lot for me to be impressed by an animated film. Usually I enjoy them as a one time watch. The exception to this rule being Pixar’s incredible ‘Up’.

It’s one of the best films of the last few years, not just the best animated movie. It eclipses the sort of films I grew up watching – all the proper Disney movies. Disney have lost the magic they used to bring to the screen of late. They managed to combine the right amount of light and dark to make memorable movies that you could watch on several levels. ‘Up’ manages to do that beautifully.

Funniest vid I’ve seen in a while!

I’m in desperate need of lightening the mood after all that. So I thought I’d continue the 30 day movie challenge. Although I may have let a few days lap – ahem… erm or a few months *cough*, I am now ready and raring to go!

Right so, favourite action. Well due to the idiots over there at movie challenge (is it even like a company…? Meh) not including the best of all genres – SCI-FI (?! – I know right?!) I have had to make some changes and have decided my favourite action can only be one thing. It’s my favourite Sci-Fi of all time, and my favourite action, James Cameron’s incredible – Aliens.

I love this movie. It’s actually even better than the first alien movie (although that is also a masterpiece), and it cements Sigourney Weaver as not only a serious¬†bad ass¬†but the Queen of science fiction. The above quote is even my favourite line in a movie ever and Ripley is just so likeable and strong its just impossible not to travel through the movie with her. You can see all the similarities of Avatar when you watch Aliens as well, which makes me wonder what a film it would have been if it had have been made today. If you haven’t seen this movie, what the hell have you been doing?! No I’m kidding of course. Seriously, get out there and see it. Even if your not a Sci-Fi fan, its a movie that anyone can appreciate.

Sigourney Weaver is like nerd mecca – we shine our replica¬†light sabres¬†in her direction at least once a day ūüėČ

Edit: Haha I just realised how that sounds… I wasn’t trying to be dirty in any way! Honest!

Tonight it’s the draw of the ¬£90 million rollover Euromillions draw. If I won I would fund the actual shot for shot remake of this for my viewing amusement. Nick Frost and Simon Pegg are Sci-Fi Comedy God’s. That is all.