Posts Tagged ‘Game of Thrones’

First of all – why the hell is Stephen Dorff holding a gun on the cover. He never comes close to a gun and dies 25 minutes in. That in itself is total false advertising. Second, God this movie is terrible. How they can make a movie like this and have it not make sense is an actual achievement. When Dorff dies, the car rolls immediately and stays there. Then Tally finds his body and his daughter Jo. Soon after, the arms dealers come back and bury the body. Where the hell did they go? At first they make it seem that there was a chase or something, and the guys have followed the trail to Dorff’s car and body. Yet there is no chase. He dies immediately. Why didn’t the guys bury his body and burn the car then? Instead they wander off for reasons unbeknown to us, probably so the writer could somehow get Tally to Jo. Also, Dorff dies in the spot where a great big dead Rhino is. Where the hell did that Rhino go? It isn’t there when Tally gets there.

In general, the film is a total snore fest. The first part of the movie is totally unnecessary. We didn’t need scenes showing them talking about the trip. Why didn’t the film just start in Africa? The scenes in America don’t add anything to the movie. The rest of the film, when we actual start getting some sort of action, is poorly executed. How a woman that tiny managed to go toe to toe in hand to hand combat with that huge South African guy is beyond me. It is never hinted that she has any sort of training, yet we are just supposed to believe she magically managed to fight him. She jumps on his back and tries to strangle him with a rope. I doubt she’d have had the strength, especially with being so dehydrated. He then punches her twice in the face, stabs her and kicks her when she’s down. Yet she somehow manages physically turn the gun round in the guys hand and shoots him. What?!

The dynamic between Jo and Tally is cringe worthy and quickly turns into a lifetime movie. At the end they’re best buds but you never really get any sense of them bonding and neither has any chemistry with the other. Maisie Williams – who is usually so good in Game of Thrones – is terrible in this. The scene were Jo breaks down and Tally hugs her would have probably been more believable if there was actual tears coming out of her eyes instead of Maisie just scrunching up her face. On top of that, she doesn’t look sad – she just looks like there is the sun in her eyes or she has smelt something bad. And then there is the direction. The scene in the camp when Jo realises the guy is part of the arms dealers is shot like a high school play. The three guys stand in a line and sort of talk at each other rather than talking like an actual human being and facing each other. And the angle of the camera is so amateurish I laughed.

The chemistry between Dorff and his girlfriend is non-existent. Svetlana Metkina is a terrible actress judging her off of this performance. She says all her lines like she’s reading them off of a piece of paper and doesn’t seem at all interested. Her tone of voice doesn’t change for the entire movie. She sounds exactly the same when she is fighting for her life as she does when she’s talking about an Jo’s iPad. On top of that, the writer keeps having her talking to herself which is just lazy writing. Peter Stormare can actually do a lot better than this movie and he’s usually terrible too. And to top it all off – the finale is totally anti-climactic and wraps it up way too quickly considering we’ve all just sat through an hour and a half of the protagonists being chased. The final scene has the girls go back to where Dorff’s body is buried to lay flowers when in reality it surely would have been dug up by the authorities to confirm their story and do an autopsy. It is evidence. And while they are laying the flowers, a hyena looks on stoically in what can only be described as the best acting in the film. Seriously, this is honestly one of the worst films I’ve ever seen.

1/10

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I’m starting a new series of articles for Rather Be Mental this week. Its the ‘You better abide by my TV guide’ series (don’t laugh! It took me half an hour to think of that…) that will basically, with as much arrogance and gusto as I can muster, tell you what you should be watching. I will try do one for each week and they will cover shows from not just within the UK but also around the world.

First up this week – Lip Service; BBC3, Friday’s 9pm.

Now for those of you who know what Lip Service is, well you will probably be a bit surprised to find out I am a fan. Why? Well because it is a drama set in Glasgow, focusing on the lives of three lesbians. Now bear with me here! Firstly, it is a well written, fantastically acted drama first and foremost. And you certainly don’t need to be gay to get sucked into all the drama. Honestly, it is funny, smart and literally has me shocked week in, week out at the many twists and turns. Shocking me is difficult, so I have to give it its dues. Out of the cast, I have to give kudos to Fiona Button who plays Tess. Not only has she managed to build up the many layers of her character in just 10 short episodes, but she single handedly shouldered the funny aspects of the show and has me laughing every week. Newcomer Anna Skellern, who plays Lexie is also a favourite of mine and has a good balance between comedy and drama. Overall, it is a great drama that I really think is overlooked way too much by the critics simple because the characters are gay. Give it a look and check out the trailer, and if you want to catch up you can find all the episodes either on BBC iplayer or youtube. Enjoy!

Next up…

Silent Witness; Available on iPlayer

I think Silent Witness definitely deserves a mention, even though this series has very annoyingly come to an end. I say ‘very annoyingly’ as one of the episodes has been pulled by the BBC as it was too similar to a recent trial. My issue? Well, from watching the preview for the episode, it seems obvious that that was exactly what the writers were going for, and so I think it is silly to pull it. People have brains, they can distinguish fact from fiction and it would be nice if the BBC gave us a chance to do that.

Anyway, rant over – Silent Witness, if you didn’t already know, follows three pathologists as they solve crimes… Well I didn’t say it was realistic did I? It really isn’t actually, but what it lacks in substance, it certainly makes up for in style. Each episode has an invisible cloak over it that just oozes atmosphere, and the three central characters – particularly Harry and Nikki are extremely likeable to the point were we let the plot holes off. Plus, occasionally it shocks me when the killer is revealed… and that never happens when I watch the US shows! Check it out on iPlayer now, and take a look at the clip provided for a preview.

And finally…

Game of Thrones; Sky Atlantic, Wednesday, 10:15 pm (Or online if you can’t wait!)

If you are not already watching Game of Thrones, firstly – clear your schedule and catch up immediately; secondly – where the hell have you been?!

Every few years, a show comes a long that really changes TV. Lost taught us that TV can be as well produced and written as any movie; Buffy turned the slasher movie premise on its head in those first few lines, Ā “I am the thingĀ that monstersĀ have nightmares about“; The Simpsons told us that cartoons were no longer just for kids; and ER made an impossible scene to shoot look really god damn easy.

And to be honest, there hasn’t been that many radical shows in recent years. True Blood comes close, with its mix of sex, gore and drama, it is hard to ignore how great that first series was – but it peaked and then it fell back down again. The Walking Dead also definitely earned a nod in the way it is possibly the scariest show on TV, and more than that, it is one of the best written shows in terms of character development – from a Zombie drama!

But, for me Game of Thrones surpasses both of the aforementioned. Why? Well because it is EPIC. This is a word that gets tossed around a lot in Hollywood – Sci Fi epic… Epic biography… blah blah blah. With Game of Thrones, I don’t use the word lightly. It really is epic. It had the gall to kill off one of the central characters, and most famous actors, in one foul swoop (I won’t say who for your own benefit!); it has a class A cast who week in, week out deliver Emmy deserving performances (and an actual Emmy for the outstanding Peter Dinklage); it takes us from the desert planes, to the icey wilderness beyond the wall delivering stunning cinematography at such ease that we come to expect it when we shouldn’t; and the writing – well that is second to none, and is the shows vibranium core to Iron Man’s super suit. Honestly, it is unlike any show I’ve ever seen. It makes the pilot of Lost look like a school production. And above all that, it has a wealth of story to use thanks to George RR Martin’s novels.

Seriously, don’t take my word for it. Check out the trailer for a preview – and catch up now.

Anyway, that’s it for now… remember – You better abide by my TV guide! It’s for your own good!